


the ash hasn’t settled yet (and neither have our hands)

by tigerlo



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst but with a very happy ending and a lovely resolution, F/F, Post-Canon, and SMUT, could be read as an extension of the wayhaught pov fics, post season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 08:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12477904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerlo/pseuds/tigerlo
Summary: Takes place after the season two finale.Waverly and Nicole have largely resolved the tension surrounding a few of their actions, (some long since, and others only recently passed), but a few thingslinger.





	the ash hasn’t settled yet (and neither have our hands)

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m putting the finishing touches on the Waverly POV fic and there were a couple of bits I didn’t want to include in that story, for a number of reasons, but mainly because within the realms of that fic, I didn’t think I could do the issues justice and I wanted to focus on other things. That, and we don’t actually know how they’re going to be dealt with in canon yet because they haven’t been, and I want the Waverly POV fic to be as close to canon as possible.
> 
> That left me with a dilemma because I always felt like even once they smoothed things over on these two big issues, Nicole’s marriage and Waverly kissing Rosita, that they both feel so deeply for each other, it might take a little longer to resolve fully.
> 
> This fic, I guess, is my way of working through those, and also giving you my canon-conscious (without actually knowing what will happen in season three) take of how they might deal with these things after the events of season two all kind of settle down. And I wanted to get it to you before I post the other Waverly POV fics so if anyone says you haven't covered those issues, I can point them to this take, which for all intents and purposes you could pretend happens at the end of the season two piece.
> 
> Oh, a quick note, the sparring scenes all happen after both conversations, they’re just interspersed to break the story up. 
> 
> One last thing, sorry, a massive shoutout to thegaysmurf on tumblr who has been a damn champ reading stuff over for me lately. You're amazing! 
> 
> x

 

-

 

Waverly's back hits the mat on the floor of the Black Badge offices hard, the slap echoing against her skin with a sharp sting.  

 

“I'll ease up,” Nicole offers, standing over her with a frown on her face as she holds out her hand for Waverly to take. “All you've gotta do is ask.”

 

“No,” Waverly says with a matching frown as she rolls up off the floor again. “I don't need you to take it easy on me.”

 

It seems an age since everything settled. Since they said goodbye to a small soul and stopped the end of the world and she and Nicole have made amends; they have, but they haven’t had a resolution.

 

Not fully.

 

“I'm not,” Nicole replies, but Waverly levels her with a look as soon as she's back on her feet.

 

“You are,” Waverly says, repressing the urge to growl her words back as she moves back into position. “I've seen you fight Wynonna. You're still holding back. Our enemies aren't going to do that, Nicole. They're not going to be soft on me.”

 

She knows the snap of her voice isn’t necessary, but she can’t quite smother it because sometimes when she closes her eyes, she sees Nicole with another woman, another beautiful woman, and it makes Waverly ache.

 

So they’re here, working out their frustrations through a bit of good old-fashioned physical exertion.

 

“You know, I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar, but maybe this _isn't_ the best idea to work out your marital issues?” Wynonna says, sipping something from an enormous cup with a straw that Waverly strongly suspects isn't water or Gatorade as she watches their exchange.

 

“We don't have marital issues,” Waverly says with a bite to Wynonna as she throws her a glance. “Just a few lingering…. frustrations.”

 

And she's telling the truth, really, she is. Everything _is_ fine now, because Nicole almost dying and the world-ending threat looming somewhere in the distance does wonders in putting things into perspective.

 

There are just a few lingering _frustrations_.

 

That’s all.

 

-

 

The house is quiet when Nicole takes her seat a little further away than she normally would from Waverly on her couch, once Waverly can't hear the thud of chopper blades when she closes her eyes anymore.

 

Nicole sets a glass down in front of Waverly on the coffee table, scotch, top shelf by the smell of it, and she takes a sip before she turns to Waverly with a nervous tilt of her head as she waits for Waverly to speak.

 

“You were married?” Waverly asks quietly, toying with her hands in her own lap before reaching out and taking a sip for courage, too, because she knows Nicole has had partners before, but a wife is _different_.

 

“I was,” Nicole replies, but there isn't lost longing in her voice, just a simple statement of fact.

 

“I know it seems kind of masochistic, but I need to know about her,” Waverly says, and she still doesn't know _why_ she does, but she does.

 

“What do you need to know?” Nicole asks, her voice gentle, like she's scared Waverly's going to spook like a beaten dog. “I'll tell you everything, Wave.”

 

“What was she like?” Waverly questions nervously, twisting her ring around her finger. “How long had you known her? Why did you get married?”

 

“We met in Vegas,” Nicole explains, a wry smile on her lips, like she's embarrassed by the fact. “I'd known her about three days, and we got married in a drunken haze. She's a lovely girl, but it didn't mean anything, Wave. Nothing at all. As soon as we sobered up at the end of the week, we realised we'd made a huge mistake, and we should only ever have been friends, but we couldn't annul it, and neither of us were dating anyone, so we just said we'd sort it out when we needed to.”

 

It makes Waverly's heart beat a little easier, knowing this stranger wasn't some great love of Nicole's life. That she wasn’t a high school sweetheart that crumbled under real world pressures that Nicole has loved since she was young. She lets that ease her before she takes a shaky breath, nodding, and Nicole continues.

 

“There wasn't anyone else after her, Wave. Nobody that came even _close_ to me considering a future with them, so I didn't do anything about it, and then I met you.”

 

Nicole’s face softens at the memory, and Waverly can’t help softening, too, the scene replaying across the front of Nicole’s heart and into her own.

 

“I never thought in a million years that you'd ever look twice at me, let alone be interested in me, Wave, and then you _were,_ and everything else just kind of happened in a whirlwind. I've barely had time to catch my breath, let alone file papers.”

 

It's a simple enough reason, it doesn't hurt any less, the fact that she'd kept the truth from Waverly, but she understands a little better at least. She bites her lip and looks to Nicole, urging her softly to finish even though it looks like she wants to crawl into a hole and hide forever.

 

“And I was scared,” Nicole says quietly. “Scared that you'd think less of me, or think I was damaged, used goods or something, so I put it off and put it off. I know I shouldn't have, but….I just couldn't bear the thought that it might change what you thought of me, or the thought that it might make you stop feeling whatever it is you feel for me, because honestly, Wave, I still can't believe you do sometimes.”

 

“Oh, Nicole,” Waverly says softly, and there are tears in her eyes, and a pain in her chest, because this is what happens when they don't talk, when they hold things in.

 

It makes her heart ache because she hates that Nicole thought that would ever be a possibility. She _hates_ it. Because nothing will _ever_ make Waverly think less of Nicole.

 

She realises she's said that last part out loud because Nicole's hands tighten around hers, and her eyes start to well up, too.

 

“I think the same thing, you know?” Waverly says softly. “That I can't believe, of all the girls, you chose me.”

 

“It wasn't a choice,” Nicole breathes, and she looks at Waverly like she's the sun. “I mean, I would have chosen you, too, Wave, but I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. My heart didn't have any other option _but_ to, because god, you're….”

 

“I'm what?” Waverly asks, her voice quiet, and she doesn't normally hunt for compliments because Nicole gives them so freely, but she _needs_ this.

 

“You're perfect, Waverly Earp,” Nicole says simply as a tear rolls down her cheek, and she moves to catch it. “To me, you're perfect. You're everything I've ever wanted, and a million things I didn't even know I did.”

 

“I am?” Waverly asks, a little disbelieving, and Nicole nods before she continues.

 

“You are,” Nicole says as though she can't believe it's not obvious and something Waverly already knows. “You're sweet and kind and beautiful and soft and _strong,_ and you complement every single part of me so completely that I don't even know how you're _real_ , let alone with me.”

 

“Hey, you know you're all those things, too, right?” Waverly says to Nicole in reply. “It sounds stupid to say, but I don't know….it kind of feels like you're the other piece of my heart?”

 

Then Waverly realises the reason she's felt vaguely sick since Shae turned up in that hospital room. It's because she wants that for them, marriage, and she almost feels like it might take the shine off because Nicole's done it before. Like, it might not, _Waverly_ might not, be as special because she's not the first.

 

Insecurity is an old bedfellow, and Waverly knows it's ridiculous, but she can't help it, because the voice is soft and smooth when it sings to her at night like a siren's call.

 

“Do you think it'll mean less for you?” Waverly asks quietly, and she hates herself for asking it, but she needs to know. “Because you've done it before?”

 

“Oh, Wave, no baby. No way,” Nicole says as she drops to her knee in front of Waverly, her hands taking Waverly's automatically. “You have no idea how much I wish I could take it back, that I could make our wedding, if you'll one day have me, my one and only. Because _you're_ my one and only, Wave. Everything else before you was a practise run.”

 

“You’re mine, too, you know,” Waverly says quietly, smiling at the devotion she can see in Nicole’s eyes. At the conviction there at her own words. “My one and only. Not the practise run, obviously.”

 

Nicole beams and laughs and sighs at the same time, the relief rolling off her palpable in the small space between them.

 

“When the day comes where you say yes, and I say _when_ and not _if,_ because I’ll be damned if I won’t ask you to marry me one day, Waverly Earp, I will consider myself the luckiest woman alive.”

 

“You won’t,” Waverly says with a soft smile, and Nicole frowns before Waverly squeezes her hands gently and she slides onto the floor with Nicole.

 

“What?” Nicole asks, a little confused and slightly worried. “I won’t?”

 

“You won’t be the luckiest woman in the world,” Waverly says with a warmth that she pushes out to her fingertips. “I will be.”

 

“No way,” Nicole replies, smiling as she stands smoothly. She pulls Waverly to her before moving them seamlessly back onto the couch, Waverly’s back soft against the cushions as Nicole slides between her thighs. “That’ll always be me, baby.”

 

“No more secrets, ok?” Waverly asks before she slants her mouth against Nicole’s, her arms sliding into the dip of Nicole’s lower back. “We need to tell each other everything. Even if it hurts.”

 

“I promise,” Nicole says as she presses kiss after kiss to Waverly’s neck and collarbone, almost purring when Waverly surges up against her.

 

“I promise, too,” Waverly offers before Nicole’s mouth closes around her clothed breast, and everything that isn’t Nicole’s touch on her skin starts to fade into obscurity.

 

Because there’s Rosita to discuss properly still, but Nicole _knows_ , and she’s still here, and for now, _this_ , their connection and reaffirming it, is more important than words.

 

Because Waverly’s lips say what her voice can’t, and so do Nicole’s, and they find peace here, for now, as their bodies _move_.

 

-

 

“Better,” Waverly says with a groan of pain as she rolls onto her stomach on the mat, Nicole standing over her again with a grimace on her face. “At least you're not holding your punches now.”

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Nicole asks hesitantly. “Because Wynonna started this, even if….”

 

“Even if what?” Waverly says with a frown, still spread out like an angel on the mat as she looks up at Nicole.

 

“She's pissed that I started training you before she could,” Wynonna says with a heavy sigh. “I _told_ you she would be.”

 

“You are?” Waverly asks as she takes Nicole's hand again, pulling herself up off the floor, a little more effort required this time as her muscles ache in protest.

 

Nicole glares at Wynonna, _hard_ , and Wynonna's face turns in resignation. She rolls her eyes heavily before she slaps her hands to her thighs, and slides off the table.

 

“You know what, I'm going to leave you two love birds to scrap this out, or fuck this out, or whatever you have to do to resolve this sexual tension, cause that shit is _stifling_ baby girl,” Wynonna says as she slinks out of the room, leaving Waverly and Nicole to stare at each other a little blankly.

 

“You're mad I asked Wynonna to teach me to fight?” Waverly asks, her arms falling to her sides as she looks at Nicole, genuinely a little confused.

 

“Not _mad_ ,” Nicole says with an apologetic shrug as she tries to articulate her feelings. “Just….I don't know, it sounds stupid now, but it hurt my feelings a little? That you wouldn't want to ask me? I know Wynonna’s all ‘chosen-one, kick-ass magic girl’, but this, fighting, this is my life, too, ya know?”

 

She’s not mad, Waverly can tell that clear as day to look at her, but her shoulders bow with something that looks like sorrow, and suddenly she feels like an idiot for not realising it might have hurt Nicole earlier.

 

“I'm sorry, baby,” Waverly says, softening immediately as she moves for Nicole's hands, taking them into her own soothingly. “I didn't even think….I mean, we were kind of fighting, but I also wanted to impress you, I guess? Like, get Wynonna to go over the basics, and then show you how much I’d learned and have you kind of teach me the rest?”

 

“It's ok,” Nicole says as she swings their joint hands, smiling softly at Waverly. “It's sweet, the idea I mean, I just, I don't know….I always imagined if you wanted to learn, that I'd get to show you this stuff?”

 

“You can now?” Waverly says softly, a peace offering. “If you still want to, I mean. I understand if you don't, but I'd _really_ like it….”

 

“You would?” Nicole asks, her voice shy as she looks down at Waverly through the hair that's fallen loose from her half up-do. “You're not just saying that?”

 

“Not at all,” Waverly breathes as she pulls Nicole to her, encouraging Nicole's arms to slip around her waist as she takes a step into Nicole's body. “I mean, Wynonna's great, but there were other things I was thinking about _you_ teaching me….”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Nicole asks, interest piqued as her arms move around Waverly fully, locking comfortably in the small of Waverly's back. “Like what?”

 

“Well, you're much more disciplined for a start,” Waverly says, feigning innocence. “And I can do things to you that I _definitely_ can't do to Wynonna.”

 

“Such as….?” Nicole asks, holding Waverly tight to her when she tries to squirm out of Nicole’s grip as her hands tickle at the bare skin of Waverly's sides above her tank.

 

“I can kiss you to distract you when you're winning,” Waverly says as she tries, unsuccessfully, to pin Nicole's arms at her side.

 

“I thought you didn't want me to go easy on you,” Nicole purrs as she moves easily out of the hold Waverly has her in.

 

“I didn't say _all_ the time,” Waverly says, rolling her eyes as she settles against Nicole's firm grip. She looks up to Nicole with doe eyes and Nicole softens for a second, allowing Waverly to move whip-quick out of her hold, exactly like Wynonna had taught her a week ago.

 

“Very good,” Nicole says, impressed, as she stands with her hands on her hips, watching as Waverly takes a step backwards. “I mean, most of your real opponents won't be distracted by thinking about how much they want to kiss the soft look off your face, but it's a start. What else did she show you?”

 

“A few things,” Waverly says, shrugging casually as she takes stock of Nicole's pose, the way her muscles hold, tensed, ready for Waverly to move on her. “Like how to use my attacker’s size against them.”

 

“Show me?” Nicole offers with a smirk that Waverly wants to wrestle clean off her face.

 

“What if I hurt you?” Waverly asks, a little apprehensive, because she wants to do this, but she doesn't want to actually hurt Nicole. Best her, sure, but nothing else.

 

“You won't,” Nicole says with a smirk that's half-amused, and Waverly's not sure if that's because she thinks Waverly genuinely can't, or _won't_ be able to, and it makes her eyes narrow in challenge.

 

“You're sure?” Waverly asks as Nicole nods and takes a step back, strengthening her stance.

 

“Show me what you've got, baby,” Nicole says with a wink as she holds, and _waits_.

 

-

 

The ghosts of their past decisions chase Waverly for days.

 

They're never fully there, appearing out of the corner of her eye and in the shadows of her room at night, fleeting and spectral, but _there_.

 

And Nicole is back in her bed, but things still feel….strained.

 

She's warm, and Waverly is, too, but something still feels off.

 

They go about their routine, and Nicole's hand rests on the small of her back where it's been missing for a week, but she hasn't taken Waverly to bed fully.

 

They sleep, but she hasn’t _had_ Waverly, not like that, and for Waverly, that's a sign because normally they can't keep their hands off one another, but for whatever reason, Nicole seems hesitant.

 

Like she's holding back. Like something's still wrong.

 

And she's still the perfectly dutiful girlfriend, and she's kind, and sweet, but something's missing and it makes Waverly _ache_.

 

It makes her heart pull, because she thinks she knows what it is, why Nicole isn’t herself, only she's scared to bring it to the surface.

 

She gives it a week before she can't take it anymore.

 

-

 

“Hey,” Waverly says, moving to Nicole's side gently after they're done with dinner at Nicole's one night during the week. “Talk to me. I can hear you thinking from halfway across town.”

 

“It's ok,” Nicole returns, even though Waverly knows that it's not. As though Waverly's asking her about something surface level, and not what's _really_ the issue.

 

“Nicole, please,” Waverly says quietly as she turns Nicole away from the sink to look at her, taking her hand and leading them over to the dining table to sit.

 

Because there’s a problem, and Waverly has been ignoring it for the sake of being here with Nicole and not hiding at the homestead with Wynonna, but is hasn’t gone, the pebble beneath their mattress, and they need to find it now, before the ache in her back gets worse.

 

Because this isn’t _them_ , this isn’t what they’re capable of. This is a shadow and she wants the solid iteration back.

 

She knows Nicole won’t give it up easily, whatever’s bugging her, but Waverly won’t ease up until they have resolution this time, because she’s done with the half-versions of them.

 

She wants her girlfriend back. All of her.

 

But she knows Nicole won’t send waves through the lake unless Waverly _really_ pushes, so she braces herself even before Nicole tries to roll it off as nothing.

 

“Honestly, Wave, it's fine,” Nicole replies, and Waverly is almost convinced, but there's a lick of pain in the corner of her eyes that Waverly would never miss. Not in a million years.

 

“Nicole,” Waverly says again, _imploring_ , and Nicole folds.

 

Finally.

 

“I don't want to,” Nicole says softly, like she's scared to speak out loud whatever ghost has set its hands around her throat.

 

“What do you mean, you don't want to?” Waverly asks, her voice nervous.

 

“I mean, I don't want to,” Nicole says quietly, not elaborating, and Waverly doesn't know what it means that she doesn't.  

 

“You don't want to talk to me?” Waverly asks, a little scared to hear the answer. Because Nicole's body calls for hers, reaching for Waverly's hands across the table automatically, but she's not sure Nicole's mind does, too. “Or you don't want to talk about what's bothering you?”

 

“I always want to talk to you, Wave,” Nicole says, softening, and Waverly breathes easier at that, at least. “I just….don't worry about it, ok. I just need to deal with it in my head.”

 

“Yeah, because we both know how well it goes when you don't tell me about stuff,” Waverly says before she can help herself, and she kicks herself as soon as the words leave her tongue because it was reactive, and dumb, but it's still a nerve that's exposed to the air and the reaction is knee jerk.

 

“Ok,” Nicole says as she exhales slowly, like she really doesn’t want to, but she knows they owe each other the full truth, now. After everything they’ve been through.  

 

Waverly waits, her thumb moving nervously over the inside of Nicole’s wrists as she waits for Nicole to speak.

 

“You kissed someone else,” Nicole says simply, and there's no malice, but the weight of it hits Waverly like a bullet to the stomach.

 

“That's what this is about?” Waverly asks, crumbling a little, because this is _exactly_ what she was worried about. Her damn mistake. “About me kissing….”

 

“Yeah,” Nicole replies as she drops Waverly's hands gently, like she's embarrassed to speak the reason out loud.

 

“If you don't want me to touch you, that's ok, but don't feel like you have to let go because you're saying something you think I don't want to hear, alright?” Waverly says softly as she holds her hands, palm up, for Nicole to take. Offering herself in the truest show of honesty she can.

 

Nicole looks to her, properly, for the first time in a week, Waverly realises, and her whole body trips at the eye contact like it's starving, but it's only just realised how much it needs sustenance.

 

Nicole moves slowly, sliding her fingers between Waverly’s as they rest atop the table, and Waverly’s body sighs heavily at the touch.

 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Waverly asks, her voice sad as she squeezes Nicole’s hand. “Why didn't you just talk to me about it?”

 

“Because I was scared?” Nicole says, quietly. “Because we'd talked about it, and I said it was ok because it is, because I want to be with you and a meaningless kiss with someone else isn't going to change that, and I did really think it was ok at the time, but I don't know, it's kind of been eating away at me?”

 

“God, Nicole this is why we need to talk,” Waverly breathes, and she's a little pissed because they've talked about this, about Nicole holding things back, but she feels like crap, too, because Nicole might be holding back, but it's because of her.

 

It begins with her.  

 

“See, this is just why I didn't want to say anything,” Nicole says a little exasperatedly. “Because you'd get mad, and feel guilty, and that's not what I wanted. I just wanted to be able to work it out in my head.”

 

“But that still affects us,” Waverly says softly, trying to get Nicole to understand. “Don't you see? Because you've been different with me, even if you haven't meant to be. You haven’t kissed me, not properly, or touched me. And what if you just didn't get over it? This is like poison, Nicole we can't let it lie still.”

 

“God, I’m sorry, Wave,” Nicole says, and she sounds so pained that it makes Waverly’s heart pull sharply in her chest. “I thought I’d been ok, but I’m so sorry if I haven’t been here, if I haven’t been giving you everything. I’m such an asshole”

 

“You’re not. Absolutely not, and it’s ok,” Waverly says soothing her, because this isn’t what she wants either.

 

This isn’t about making one another feel guilty, that’s the last thing she wants. She just wants to fix this. Once and for all.

 

“Really, baby it is,” Waverly offers, her hands warm in Nicole’s. “It’s not your fault, and you’ve still been amazing, I can just tell there’s something wrong? And I want to make it better, because this is my fault.”

 

“I just….” Nicole starts, and then stops, as she tries to assemble her words a little more carefully. “We had these things, these big shitty things that break most couples up, but we got over them, and I didn't want….I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you if I brought this stuff back up, and it made you mad, and….”

 

“You told me you loved me more than you've ever loved anyone before,” Waverly says quietly. “Is that still true?”

 

“Of course it's still true,” Nicole says as she bends herself towards Waverly, offering her body up as proof of how deeply that is the case. “Baby, that's never changed, and neither has how I feel about you. Not an ounce, ok?”

 

“Well if that's true, how can you think bringing it up would drive me away?” Waverly asks, trying to draw the poison out from the root of the bite. “Because this is kind of a forever thing for me, and I thought it was for you, too, but if things like this make you doubt it, then….”

 

“It's not you, baby,” Nicole says quickly. “None of this is on you. It's me. It's my own insecurities, ok? It's being scared I'm going to drive you away, because a part of me thinks I'm still not good enough for you, I think. And I thought I'd gotten over that, because you've never given me a scrap of a reason to doubt that, but I just….I don't know, I think it hurt more than I thought. You and…..”

 

“I know,” Waverly says, and the guilt comes crashing down around her like a wave in a storm. “I know Nicole, and I am so sorry.”

 

“I know you are,” Nicole says softly, and she's sad like she knows how so very sorry Waverly is, but that's not the problem.

 

That's not what she's stuck on.

 

“I know you were drunk and it didn't mean anything, but god, it hurts Wave,” Nicole says as her voice breaks. “It really fucking hurts and I don't know what to do?”

 

“Do you….” Waverly begins carefully and very quietly, and it makes her sick to think about it, but she needs to give Nicole the option in case it's what she needs.

 

Because it might break her heart, but if it fixes things long term, then she’ll _deal_.

 

“Do _you_ want to kiss someone else?” Waverly asks so softly that Nicole has to lean forward to hear her.

 

“No, Wave,” Nicole says, fast and sure and firm as she shakes her head.

 

Waverly takes a shuddering breath, biting back tears, because thank _Christ_ she doesn't.

 

“Absolutely not,“ Nicole reaffirms as she squeezes Waverly’s hands. “Please don't think I'd want that for a second, ok? It's not an eye for an eye. I don't know how things worked in the past for you, Wave, but that's not how they're gonna go with me. I just…. I need to work through it in my head.”

 

Waverly nods and the tears lining her eyes fall silently down her cheeks before Nicole reaches softly to catch them.

 

“If it was a guy I'd want to hit him,” Nicole says with a stiff laugh. “But she’s not, and I don't want to do that even if I _could_. I just don't know what I want, because I know it wasn't her that initiated it, and….”

 

“I know I've said it before, but it didn't mean anything, ok?” Waverly offers, sinking to her knees before Nicole in a perfect echo of them the other night.

 

And Waverly knows it's dumb, and dramatic, but she doesn't know what else to do because she needs Nicole to know how _sorry_ she is.

 

“It was a moment of insanity, and I was angry with you, and upset about that stupid test, and I messed up, ok Nicole,” Waverly pleads. “But it won't happen again.”

 

“I trust you, Wave I do, ok? With my body and soul, but….” Nicole says, pausing. “What happens if you get mad at me again? If I do something stupid, and….”

 

“Then I'll be pissed,” Waverly says quickly. “But I'll never make that mistake again. You're it, baby. You're it, ok? The second I….I know now more than ever, that you’re it.”

 

Nicole nods her head slowly, looking down at their joined hands in her lap before she looks up to Waverly with a small, hopeful smile.

 

“I know I can't take it back, but what else can I do?” Waverly asks, her voice reaching for Nicole. “Because I'll do anything, Nicole. We just….we can't keep holding things to our chest like this. We can deal with everything else life throws at us, but we won't survive an attack if it comes from inside.”

 

“I know,” Nicole says as she nods in understanding. “I know, Wave, I do, I've just never had anyone to count on, before. No one to talk to about stuff like this. It's always just been me. So when I'm dealing with something, it's just my default to hold it in and try sort through it myself, because I've never had another option.”

 

“But you _have_ another option now,” Waverly says, her voice gentle with hurt. “You have me.”

 

“I know I do,” Nicole says softening. “Only you've been kind of distant the last week, and I didn't want to bother you, or drive you further away?”

 

“You won't,” Waverly affirms a little sadly. “I promise, you won’t.”

 

It hurts that Nicole could even consider that a possibility, but Waverly can see how she might have come to that, and she kicks herself for being off, too, regardless of how she's felt.

 

“I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick, but you have to know you're never going to drive me away, Nicole,” Waverly says gently. “I _love_ you. You won’t get rid of me that easily. But you need to tell me if there is something I can do.”

 

And she wishes there was something she could do to help ease this for Nicole, _god_ does she ever. She wishes there was a price she could pay, or something she could give up or bleed into, anything to fix the slightly broken look she can see on Nicole’s face, because it’s heartbreaking.

 

Waverly had known it would hurt, after she had realised what she’d done and what it would mean, and if she’d thought about it for even a second instead of jumping into things like a damn teenager, she never would have left with Rosita in the start.

 

Because Nicole feels things, _deeply_ , perhaps more so than anyone Waverly’s ever met, and it makes her feel so incredibly blessed because Nicole feels _for_ her, _with_ her, _towards_ her, and she knows this is hurting Nicole more than she’s admitting, even now.

 

“I don't think there's anything you can do, Wave,” Nicole says, her voice calmly sad. “It just….needs time I think? To heal?”

 

“But you’ll tell me?” Waverly asks quietly. “If there’s something, anything you need or want or….”

 

“Of course I will, baby,” Nicole says gently, taking Waverly’s hand against her heart. “I think you being here with me, helps? I mean, that helps with everything, but I think it really helps with this? It’s silly but it makes me feel wanted, I think?”

 

“You’re _very_ wanted, Nicole,” Waverly says, running her hands up Nicole’s forearms, and Waverly sighs as Nicole softens visibly beneath Waverly’s touch.

 

“Promise?” Nicole says with a little frown at the corner of her eye.

 

“Do you need me to show you?” Waverly asks as she moves her hands up Nicole’s arms until they meet her body, before she slides them down Nicole’s side, glancing the side of her ass.

 

“Maybe I do,” Nicole says with a husk to her voice that wasn’t there a second ago, and it feels lighter between them already, the thing weighing Nicole down, aired.

 

Exorcised.

 

“That, I can _definitely_ do,” Waverly says as she moves to straddle Nicole, dropping herself down into Nicole’s lap as Nicole’s hands move around to Waverly’s lower back and hold her steady.

 

Waverly leans in, smiling, and presses her lips to Nicole’s as she sighs again, and they **breathe** together, and her heart settles.

 

“You could beat Dolls up?” Waverly suggests with a shrug as she shifts slightly in Nicole’s arms. “If it'd make you feel better? Or Wynonna? She did say the other day she wanted to see if your bite was as sharp as your bark.”

 

“You think she would?” Nicole asks, raising an eyebrow before she pulls Waverly forward in her lap, bringing Waverly’s breasts against hers. “I’ve always kinda wanted to see if I could beat her.”

 

“God, it’s like a pissing contest,” Waverly says with a smile. “I thought I’d seen the last of it with Wynonna and Champ.”

 

“Now _there’s_ someone I will quite willingly fight,” Nicole says, laughing lightly, and Waverly can’t help smile in return.

 

“Better?” Waverly asks softly, her eyes relaying her apology one last time.

 

“Better,” Nicole confirms as her hands slide beneath Waverly’s ass and she feels Nicole’s thighs tense, readying herself to stand. “Now, I believe there’s something that needs to be remedied? Immediately, actually.”

 

“What’s that,” Waverly breathes as Nicole stands, pulling Waverly neatly around her waist, bringing Waverly’s core roughly into contact with her stomach.

 

“Me taking you to bed,” Nicole says simply, and the sureness in her voice that’s been missing, but suddenly fills her speech, makes Waverly throb. “If you’ll have me?”

 

“Always,” Waverly replies, purring as Nicole smirks dangerously.

 

Waverly brings their lips together, _hard_ , and Nicole gasps as Waverly gives herself wholly to the kiss.

 

To Nicole.

 

“Always, baby,” Waverly repeats as Nicole moves them in the direction of her bedroom. “Always.”

  


-

  


“Come on you two, you’ve been at this for _hours_ ,” Waverly says, voice exasperated as she watches Nicole and Wynonna wrestle in front of her. “It’s a draw.”

 

“No,” Wynonna grits stubbornly as Nicole pins her arm behind her back. “I’m not giving up until I kick your girlfriend's ass in front of you.”

 

“And I’m not giving up until I kick your sister’s ass,” Nicole says before the air rushes out of her lungs as Wynonna catches her with a stray elbow to the side, rolling on top of her.

 

They shift and move like snakes in a pit until Waverly stands up, her movement a declaration of an end.

 

“Well, you can’t kick each other’s ass in front of me if I’m not _in front_ of you,” Waverly says, her eyebrow raised, challenging them to challenge her.

 

Nicole gives in first at Waverly’s signal, bending for Waverly always. She eases her hold against Wynonna hesitantly as though expecting Wynonna to throw one last sly punch the second she lets her guard down.

 

“Ugh, you’re such a spoil sport, sis,” Wynonna groans, eying Nicole with the same sly mistrust. “Fine, it’s a draw. But your ass is mine next time, Haught, only I want to do it proper. No goody-two-shoes referee watching, ok?”

 

“Why,” Nicole says with a smirk as she rolls off and away smoothly, out of Wynonna’s reach. “Don’t want Waverly to see you lose?”

 

“You know what,” Wynonna says as Waverly watches the fire flash behind her eyes and she _glares_ at Nicole, ready for round fifteen.

 

“Nope,” Waverly says, moving between the two of them quickly. “Uh, uh. You’ve had your fun, I want my turn.”

 

“Love-eyes here isn’t going to do shit, baby girl,” Wynonna says, rolling her eyes as she moves back to a crouch, watching Nicole survey Waverly. “You saw her the other day. Now, if you want someone to train you properly….”

 

“She can come to me,” Nicole says finally, the authority ringing in her voice, the timbre of it making Waverly _warm_.

 

“Why, so someone can teach her the textbook way of getting their ass handed to them?” Wynonna asks, smiling up at Nicole from her crouch.

 

“No,” Nicole returns as she shakes her head, refusing to bite at Wynonna’s obvious bait. “So someone can teach her how to be disciplined when she fights.”

 

“Yeah, no,” Wynonna says, tilting her head back and forth as though weighing the options up. “Hard and dirty is just too much fun.”

 

Waverly knows she shouldn’t even be entertaining the thought because Nicole is right, disciplined is _always_ better.

 

Waverly has seen proof of it today, that Nicole can twist out of or throw off any hold Wynonna has her in because she’s been trained so carefully. Now that she’s here though, standing in front of Nicole, her cheeks a little flushed and her arms bare, Waverly can’t entirely deny the appeal of hard and dirty with Nicole, either.

 

She does try to hide the obviously hungry look she gives Nicole, but Wynonna catches it regardless. She looks between the two of them, before she laughs under her breath and holds her hand out for Nicole.

 

As much as Waverly knows she’ll never admit it, Wynonna likes Nicole. A lot, actually. More than that, though, she likes how good Nicole is for Waverly.

 

_To_ Waverly.

 

She’d never, _ever_ do something like this for Champ, but Nicole is different, and if it means that she and Nicole get to spend a little time together during this time of peace, then Wynonna will submit and leave them to it. For Waverly.

 

For Waverly’s happiness.

 

“Draw?” Wynonna asks, holding her hand out to Nicole.

 

The redhead eyes it warily, glancing to Waverly quickly who can only shrug in response, before turning back and reaching for it.

 

And yeah, Wynonna will submit, for Waverly, but that doesn’t mean she’s going down without a fight.

 

She’s quick, Waverly has to give her that, and before Nicole can twist her hand out of Wynonna’s grip, Wynonna turns, collecting Nicole with the weight and momentum of her own body.

 

Waverly watches in slow motion as Nicole hits the mat hard, her breath coming out in a rush, and Wynonna, still standing, looks down at her with an _extremely_ smug grin on her face.

 

“You said….” Nicole gasps, winded, as Waverly moves to her side.

 

“I said _draw_ ,” Wynonna says with a wink as she spins and makes her way to the door before Nicole can get up. “Not _truce_. You’ve gotta learn, Haught. Never trust an Earp.”

 

“I’ll remember that,” Nicole groans after her, sitting up with Waverly’s hand at her back. “Sleep with one eye open, Wynonna.”

 

“What are you going to do, lecture me back into a bored stupor about _proper technique_ ,” Wynonna shoots back, teasing, and Waverly is about to go and give her a shove for good measure, but then Wynonna’s eyes soften, and Waverly understands what she’s doing.

 

She’s giving them alone time.

 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” Wynonna calls out from the door, flicking the lock from the inside, before she pulls it shut behind her, leaving them blissfully alone.

 

“She’s a dick,” Waverly says apologetically as Nicole leans against her, rubbing her chest with the flat of her hand.

 

“She’s….” Nicole starts, but Waverly stops her with a gentle kiss, resting her forehead against Nicole’s when she pulls back.

 

“She’s a dick,” Waverly says again, and Nicole laughs. “It won’t hurt my feelings if you need to say that every once in awhile. I know she is.”

 

“Occasionally, yeah,” Nicole admits with a soft smile. “She kinda is.”

 

“I hope she didn’t hurt you,” Waverly says as her hands smooth over Nicole’s back softly, moving down to her arms and across the tightness of her quads, under the pretence of checking her over.

 

“I’m ok, Wave,” Nicole answers reassuringly as Waverly sighs a little in relief. “I’ve been beaten up by bigger guys. Not scarier, though.”

 

“Wynonna’s not scary,” Waverly says with an eye roll. “A bit mad, sure. But not scary.”

 

“Maybe not to you,” Nicole returns, laughing softly.

 

The sound makes Waverly’s heart light, because it’s so clear and pure and things feel right. Less cloudy. They’re _them_ , again.

 

“So….” Waverly says smoothly. “Wynonna’s showed me a few things, but we haven’t gotten to mat work yet. If you want….”

 

“I could show you a few things?” Nicole asks as her eyes narrow and she picks up on Waverly’s thread seamlessly.

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says as she slides over Nicole’s thighs, straddling her. “Like, what do I do if I’m on the ground like you are and someone’s on top of me?”

 

“Well,” Nicole replies, her eyes darkening as her hands move up Waverly’s thighs, her nails dragging along the fabric of Waverly’s exercise tights. “It’s all about momentum. You can throw someone a lot bigger than you off, you’ve just gotta learn to use their own momentum against them?”

 

“Oh yeah?” Waverly breathes, the picture of innocence. She leans down low against Nicole’s body, breast to breast, pressing a kiss to Nicole’s lips before moving down to her neck.

 

“Yeah,” Nicole says as she responds, pulling Wavely to her before kissing her thoroughly. Her tongue slides against Waverly’s and Waverly sighs, her body going soft against Nicole’s before Nicole pulls away with a gasp.

 

“Baby….” Nicole says, the hesitation clear in her voice before Waverly quiets her with a kiss. “Someone could come in.”

 

“Wynonna locked the door,” Waverly purrs as she ignores her girlfriends words, kissing down the column of Nicole’s throat instead.

 

“I’m all hot,” Nicole tries again as her hands find Waverly’s shoulders, conscious of the warmth of her own skin.

 

“I don’t care,” Waverly husks, shaking her head as she leans in to taste Nicole’s skin. “It’s nice, and a little salty.”

 

Waverly can feel Nicole’s resolve weakening, bit by bit, as her tongue moves over the pulse beating louder and louder in Nicole’s neck.

 

“But, they can still hear us?” Nicole says as her eyes flick to the door. Waverly can see what she’s doing though, she can see Nicole’s mind moving. Assessing. Weighing up the risk.

 

“I don’t care if they do,” Waverly answers, rolling her hips heavily against Nicole’s, trying to drive home the benefits of giving into the beat of their bodies.

 

“But….” Nicole says one last time before Waverly pulls back with a soft look of patience, despite the fact that her body is positively _screaming_ for Nicole’s.

 

“Baby, if you don’t want to, we can stop,” Waverly offers as her hand moves to Nicole’s jaw. “We can go home and continue, or just go home, or….”

 

She doesn’t finish her next sentence though, because Nicole grins and moves, quicker than Waverly thought she was capable of. She reverses their positions easily, shifting so she’s perched above Waverly’s hips.

 

She bears down a little with her hips in a mirror of Waverly’s action a moment ago, and it’s not as much friction as Waverly would like, but still, it’s _friction_ , and Waverly’s mouth falls open in a gasp.

 

“I really, really want to,” Nicole says, her voice a note lower than it was a moment ago. “I really want to. I’d just rather not get caught by your sister, or Nedley, god forbid, but if you’re sure they can’t get in...”

 

“That’s the only way in?” Waverly asks as she tilts her head back, looking around the room, albeit upside down, for another door.

 

“That’s the only way in,” Nicole confirms as her body heats against Waverly’s.

 

“Then I’m sure they can’t get in,” Waverly says as her face burns beneath the hungry gaze _pouring_ from Nicole.

 

“Thank god,” Nicole replies heavily as her resolve cracks clean down the middle. “Because I don’t know _how_ we were going to make it home without me having you in the car.”

 

“Me either,” Waverly purrs as Nicole’s body bends differently against hers. Opening. “You’re so sexy when you’re in cop-mode, you know? Watching you before….”

 

“Really?” Nicole asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yeah,” Waverly says as she blushes heavily. “ _Really_. Anytime I get to see how strong you are, all I can think about is what that would look like if you….”

 

“If I what, baby?” Nicole asks, leaning in to Waverly’s lips, pulling back _just_ before she can make contact.

 

“If you pinned _me_ down,” Waverly says as her blood heats hot beneath Nicole’s thighs around her legs. “If you were holding me down the way you were holding Wynonna.”

 

“And that turns you on?” Nicole breathes back against Waverly’s throat. “Me holding you down like that?”

 

“Yes,” Waverly says, hot and clear.

 

It’s a long way she’s come in reflection, Waverly thinks when the words fall easily from her lips. She had been so hesitant to voice her desire to begin with, but it’s so easy now, Nicole draws it so seamlessly from her, as though she’s never been anything but expressive.

 

“Like this?” Nicole asks as she shifts her position slightly, freeing Waverly’s arms from her sides so she can move them up above Waverly’s head.

 

“Yes,” Waverly half-moans as Nicole’s hands fix around her wrists like a bracelet. “Just like that.”

 

It’s been hard, the last few weeks, having Nicole so close physically, but so far mentally, but that dissolves now, in the face of their recent resolutions.

 

It seems further away when Nicole’s mouth closes hot over the heartbeat in her neck and sucks, drawing the skin between her teeth.

 

It seems further still when Nicole frees one hand, the other still holding Waverly’s wrists easily, to slide down Waverly’s side, finding skin bared at the bottom of Waverly’s crop.

 

“I like this, too, you know,” Nicole says, drawing back so Waverly can see her smile.

 

“What?” Waverly asks, although she knows exactly what Nicole is talking about.

 

“When I hold you down like this,” Nicole says, her fingertips dancing over Waverly’s ribs. “Do you know what I like more, though?”

 

“What?” Waverly breathes, chasing Nicole’s mouth when she leans in close, suddenly desperate to feel Nicole’s lips against her own again.

 

“When you fight me,” Nicole says as her pupils blow, and Waverly can see just how much that is true. “When you push back, just a little.”

 

“You do?” Waverly asks, a little surprised. She’s not sure why, but the admission makes the throb between her legs _heavier_.

 

“Yeah,” Nicole replies with a wicked smile as her thumbs brush past Waverly’s nipples. “It makes me feel like I earnt it, when I do get to touch you.”

 

Waverly smiles sweetly in an attempt to distract Nicole before she twists in Nicole’s grip, trying weakly and without any real desire, to free herself.

 

Nicole is quick, responding to Waverly’s half-hearted attempt easily. Her hand tightens around Waverly’s wrists and the other pushes down against Waverly’s hip holding her firmly against the mat.

 

“Come on, baby,” Nicole smirks as her lips drop to trace the swell of Waverly’s breasts. “You can do better than that.”

 

Waverly’s pulse quickens at the feeling of Nicole holding her firmer and her mind leaps ahead. _If she pushes harde_ r, Waverly reasons, _Nicole will respond in kind_ , _and…._

 

She wraps her thigh around Nicole’s and coils the strength in her stomach before she bites her lip and pushes up, as hard as she can against Nicole’s hold.

 

It’s enough that Nicole has to actively shift to hold off the attempt, but not that she has any real difficulty defending the movement, and Waverly falls back to the mat as a rush of air leaves her lungs.

 

“Better,” Nicole says against Waverly’s heart. “You’re still not using my strength against me, though.”

 

She moves to demonstrate, showing Waverly how to intertwine her body with Nicole’s before she rolls them, using the same motion Waverly would if she were leading and before she can blink, Waverly finds herself looking down at Nicole.

 

“That’s not fair,” Waverly says with a frown as her arms hold her over Nicole, a palm flat down on the mat either side of head. “That feels like it was effortless for you.”

 

“It should be more or less for you, too if you can use their weight right,” Nicole says as her hands move over Waverly’s ass, giving her a solid squeeze before she winks and reverses their positions smoothly.

 

“See?” Nicole asks as she settles between Waverly’s thighs, pressing a little harder with the weight of her thigh than before.

 

“I want to call disadvantage,” Waverly says with a shaky voice as Nicole moves for every inch of bare skin her mouth can reach. “You’re distracting me.”

 

“Oh,” Nicole replies innocently as she moves away from Waverly’s neck, biting her bottom lip as she looks down at what Waverly can only imagine is a flushed complexion and glassy eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”

 

“No,” Waverly says as her hands bunch in Nicole’s tank, holding her tight so she can’t move away any further. “I really, _really_ don’t.”

 

“Thank god,” Nicole breathes with a smirk that makes Waverly _wet_. “I think I might have gone mad if I had to stop.”

 

“Me, too,” Waverly says as her calves slide around Nicole’s waist, pulling them hip to hip, tight enough that Waverly can feel the warmth of Nicole against her own leg.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Nicole says, tilting Waverly’s chin back so she can get to more of Waverly’s throat. “I’ve missed you so much, Wave. I hated things being….”

 

“Me, too,” Waverly repeats again as her arms move around Nicole’s shoulders before her hands move into Nicole’s hair, holding Nicole against her skin. “Me too, baby.”

 

“But we’re ok?” Nicole asks with hopeful eyes as she extricates herself temporarily from Waverly’s hold.

 

“We’re ok, baby. I promise. Can’t you feel it?” Waverly offers as her heart falls into sync with Nicole’s. “It feels light again.”

 

“Yeah,” Nicole says with a smile that makes her whole body glow. “Yeah, I can. I feel like I’ve got a bunch of lost time to make up for, though.”

 

“You don’t have to do anything,” Waverly returns with a soft exhale. “Although if you want to keep doing that thing with your mouth, I’m definitely not going to tell you to stop.”

 

“Oh, you mean _this_?” Nicole asks as her lips find Waverly’s breast again, drawing the skin neatly against her teeth.

 

It sends goosebumps rippling through Waverly’s entire body and a moan from her lips as Nicole smiles against her, content with the reaction.

 

“I think you might need to show me again,” Waverly says as she bucks up against Nicole’s thigh when her breath comes back to her. “I think you might need to demonstrate the proper technique for holding someone down, you know, just in case….”

 

“Just in case, huh?” Nicole asks as she takes Waverly’s hands in her own.

 

She drags her nails against the soft skin of Waverly’s underarms as she moves them above Waverly’s head again and Waverly squirms, completely unintentionally, grinning as Nicole shifts her hips to hold her still.

 

“Just in case,” Waverly repeats, biting back a gasp when one of Nicole’s hands moves down Waverly’s stomach, stopping just short of slipping beneath the waistband of her pants.

 

She pauses, looking to Waverly for confirmation that Waverly gives her with a hurried kiss, before finally, finally, she _touches_.

 

Waverly isn’t sure who moans louder, her at the feeling of Nicole sliding so easily against her, or Nicole at feeling how much Waverly wants this.

 

“Oh, _Waverly_ ,” Nicole breathes as her body melts against Waverly’s and her hand dips lower to explore more. “You’re….”

 

“I told you,” Waverly says with a grin, nipping at Nicole’s throat. “I told you what it did to me, watching you. Imagining….”

 

“Jesus, Wave,” Nicole utters shakily as her mouth moves to Waverly’s clothed nipple. “You have no idea how much of a turn on it is, knowing I can make you this wet.”

 

“This is what you do to me,” Waverly says with a skip in her pulse as Nicole drops her fingers lower, pushing lightly against her. “Just being near you does this to me, Nicole. It only gets worse when you actually _touch_.”

 

“Really?” Nicole asks as she looks up to catch Waverly’s eye.

 

“Yes,” Waverly says with a sigh as Nicole’s fingers draw more from her and her body arches against Nicole’s in response. “Can’t you feel?”

 

And she knows Nicole can, because she can feel it herself. She can feel her body ache for Nicole. For the need to have her _inside_.

 

“You’ll be the death of me, Waverly Earp,” Nicole says as her hand tightens around Waverly’s wrists and Waverly’s hips jump against her hand, pleading for more. “I swear to god.”

 

“You’ll be mine first,” Waverly moans as Nicole’s fingers tease, but don’t enter. “ _Nicole_.”

 

Her body draws a long line against Nicole’s as the redhead holds her against the mat, and she knows Nicole knows what she wants.

 

“Yes, baby?” Nicole asks sweetly, as if she didn’t have an extremely turned on and strung-out girlfriend beneath her.

 

Normally she’d be patient. Normally she’d wait rather than cave and beg, but tonight, she doesn’t. She wants Nicole more than her pride. She needs Nicole more than she needs not to beg.

 

“Please,” Waverly says, her voice silk like Nicole’s fingers against her heat. “Nicole, please.”

 

She doesn’t make Waverly wait.

 

She moves, in one smooth motion, down Waverly’s length, _inside_ , burying herself two fingers deep.

 

“Oh, _go…_.” Waverly starts as her back arches sharply off the mat, but the rest of the sentence is silent, because Nicole takes her breath.

 

“This is the best thing,” Nicole purrs, her breath shiver-inducing against Waverly’s neck. “The best thing in the world, baby, feeling how much you want me for the first time when we….”

 

Waverly’s half hoping she eases her movements for a second so she can catch her breath and reply, but Nicole doesn’t, of course she doesn’t.

 

She’s seamless, and an enviably good multi-tasker, and she doesn’t miss a step as she drags her fingers with an aching slowness from Waverly before plunging back in.

 

Waverly’s back cracks again as she bends like an arc of lightning as high as she can with Nicole’s hands and hips steadying her.

 

“It’s one of my favourite things, you know,” Nicole breathes to her blood. “When we’re done, but I can still feel you around my fingers. Or I can still taste you on my tongue.”

 

“ _God_ , Nicole,” Waverly moans, wantonly, her body struggling to maintain its resolve as Nicole slowly and neatly begins to take her to pieces.

 

“It’s all I can think about for hours sometimes, especially if we have time before I have to go into work….” Nicole says as her fingers curl and her thumb moves to try and catch Waverly’s clit.

 

“How—do you know,” Waverly gasps between strokes as Nicole smiles down at her. “Exactly what I….”

 

“What you want baby?” Nicole asks as her fingers push and push and p u s h. “What you _need_?”

 

“Yes,” Waverly moans from somewhere deep in her lungs, and it’s meaning is two-fold. Affirmation and exclamation in one.

 

“Your body tells me,” Nicole says, taking Waverly’s nipple between her teeth again through layers of cloth.

 

The sensation is a little muted, muffled by the fabric, but Nicole can bite harder for that and Waverly just about draws her own blood as she bites her lip in response.

 

As much as Waverly far prefers the feeling of skin on skin when they’re together, there’s something pulse-racing about being fully-clothed, and that’s only enhanced by the fact that Waverly knows someone could knock on that door any second.

 

“How does it….” Waverly tries to start before Nicole’s fingers curl and her hands tighten around Waverly’s wrists and Waverly’s voice cuts out.

 

“It talks,” Nicole clarifies as she kisses between Waverly’s breasts, as low as Waverly’s tank will allow. “You talk. Even if you don’t verbalise a single word.”

 

Waverly knows Nicole isn’t expecting an answer, because the pause is a comma and not a full-stop, so she doesn’t bother to try, focussing instead on the way Nicole _stretches_ her with every push of her arm.

 

“When you want me to be soft, you sigh when you kiss me,” Nicole says with a gentle smile. “When you want me to be a little rougher you always run your fingers through my hair.”

 

She slows the thrusts of her arm then, drawing them out but making them deeper.

 

“When you want me to taste you, your moans are closer together, and when you want _more…_ .” Nicole pauses to look down the length of Waverly’s body. “….your back arches _just_ like it’s doing right now.”

 

She wants to say _how on earth can you know all those things,_ but she already knows the answer. Because Nicole _cares_ , because she _listens_ , because she’s learned more about Waverly than anyone else in her entire life in the space of a few short months, because she’s taken the time to look.

 

And it might not have been a conscious thing, but Waverly has been learning, too. Because she knows how to read Nicole’s body, now. Because Nicole watches, but she watches, too.

 

She’s about to give Nicole some sort of affirmation that she’s right before she pleads for just a little bit _more, Nicole, please_ , but before she can, Nicole tests her entrance gently with three fingers before Waverly opens, just a little wider, and Nicole _fills_ her.

 

She doesn’t move for a second or two, pausing above Waverly as she peppers small, quick kisses over Waverly’s chest while Waverly stretches, accommodating the extra finger.

 

It burns, ever so slightly, but it’s the sweetest burn she’s ever felt, and Waverly chases it in an attempt to feel it for just a second more before the need overtakes her and she exhales with a shaky breath.

 

“And that’s the noise you make when you’re ready for me to start again,” Nicole says with a smirk before she starts pulsing her fingers gently, lengthening the stroke gradually until she’s moving all the way, in and out, smoothly.

 

Waverly surges up against Nicole’s hold, crashing their lips together as her heart _swells,_ because this is hot as hell, yes, but there’s so much affection and warmth behind every one of Nicole’s gestures that Waverly wants to fall apart just to show Nicole how much it means to her.

 

She’s close now, the extra thickness and the irregular sweep of Nicole’s thumb pushing her closer to the edge. She wants so badly for Nicole to come with her, but she knows she can’t, not while Waverly’s hands are otherwise engaged, unless….

 

“And I can read yours, too, baby,” Waverly says, smiling as she draws Nicole down to her. “Your cheeks flush _just_ like they are right now when you’re turned on beyond the point you can stand it, but I haven’t touched you yet.”

 

“I’m not giving you your hands back,” Nicole says devilishly. “Not unless you want….”

 

“I don’t,” Waverly says quickly, reading Nicole’s thought ahead of her. “I don’t, but I want you to feel something too.”

 

“I can wait,” Nicole returns as she bites her lip and bears down against Waverly’s thigh. She can feel Nicole _so_ warm against her, and her idea strengthens.

 

“What if you don’t have to,” Waverly says as she looks down the length of her body to the point where Nicole’s core brushes against her quad. “I know it’s not as good as….but it’s _something…_.”

 

“Is that o….” Nicole starts to ask before a blush overtakes her. “I didn’t want to assume….”

 

“I just want to make you feel good, too,” Waverly whispers against Nicole’s lips. “Please, baby.”

 

Nicole drops her head and the grip on Waverly’s wrists tightens as Nicole grinds down against Waverly’s thigh, _properly_ , and Waverly has to stop a moan overcoming her as she watches.

 

Nicole’s loose waves of hair falls down around her eyes as she bows her head and concentrates, hard, on keeping up the momentum of her hand as she slides against Waverly’s thigh and it’s one of the most beautiful things Waverly has ever seen in her entire life.

 

Because Nicole hot with lust is a sight, but her _lost_ to it is something else entirely.

 

“I can feel how wet you are,” Waverly breathes to Nicole’s throat as she bares it for Waverly’s teeth. “Harder, Nicole. Push _harder_ if you need.”

 

“ _God_ , Wave,” Nicole gasps with an extra firm thrust of her arm. “I’m supposed to be concentrating on you, not getting myself off.”

 

“Why can’t we do both?” Waverly asks as she takes Nicole’s lip between her teeth gently. “I don’t see why we have to compromise.”

 

“I love you,” Nicole says with a husk and a half-laugh as she rolls her hips against Waverly’s thigh again and again and a g a i n. “Have I told you that recently, I love you, Wave, _god_ , I love you.”

 

“I love you, too,” Waverly breathes as her heart swells, and the fluttering picks up in magnitude at the base of her spine. Nicole is moving harder now, _faster_ , into her now without hint of friction, and Waverly’s body soaks every ounce of pleasure.

 

“When your breathing gets short,” Nicole says with a pant as she continues to rub against Waverly, her own breath coming quick and sharp. “Just like this, and the prettiest blush rises over your chest, I know you’re about to come.”

 

She’s not sure how, but Nicole’s assurance, her flawless knowledge of Waverly’s body, of the limits of her own pleasure, _that’s_ what tips her over the edge.

 

Nicole is three knuckles deep, bearing down against Waverly, her teeth in Waverly’s neck, when Waverly peaks.

 

And it’s not slow, it’s quick, like a dam breaking.

 

One minute it’s building and the next it’s broken and she’s crumbling, tensing, _throbbing_ , against Nicole’s hand, her lips dancing with obscenities and love songs and Nicole’s name.

 

Above else, Nicole’s name.

 

Because she’s the reason, she’s the point around which Waverly’s pleasure revolves. Her pleasure and her life, now, too.

 

Nicole’s fingers curl and her teeth nip and she draws moan after moan from Waverly like a poet, like their lives depend on it, and the world could be falling around their shoulders but nothing, not one single thing matters outside of the points at which their bodies meet.

 

Nicole’s hand holds tight around her wrists until neither of them can stand that Waverly isn’t touching her and she loosens her grip so Waverly can pull Nicole closer. Her arms slide around Nicole’s shoulders and they rock together, Waverly’s release ebbing back as Nicole’s rises.

 

“I want you to come, too,” Waverly breathes to Nicole as she pulls them closer together. “Please, baby. I want you to come, too.”

 

She’s sure that Nicole is close enough that it’s pure coincidence (although part of her wants to think it’s proof of something deeper, of the limitlessness of their connection) but Waverly calls, and Nicole _comes_.  

 

It’s soundless and wordless and breathless and _beautiful_ , as Nicole’s release meets the edge of Waverly’s, and she falls, too.

 

“Yes, baby,” Waverly purrs as her fingers run through Nicole’s hair and Nicole rides her thigh with a gasp and a soft, almost imperceptible, sob. “ _Yes_.”

 

Waverly’s calf wraps around the back of Nicole’s, pulling Nicole down against her, _firmer_ , and she feels the last set of shudders leave Nicole’s body through her own before she collapses, molten and spent.

 

“Jesus, Wave,” Nicole muffles into the curve of her neck. “Are you….that was….”

 

“Good?” Waverly asks as she eases the press of her fingers against Nicole’s scalp, softening the motion, and Nicole sighs in response.

 

“Really, _really_ good,” Nicole replies heavily as she extricates her hand from Waverly’s tights. “I’ve missed you, baby. I know we’ve….that we’ve done _that_ since we talked, but….”

 

“I know what you mean,” Waverly finishes for her as Nicole leans into her touch. “It feels like we’re us again.”

 

“Exactly,” Nicole says, moving up onto an elbow so she can look down at Waverly. “I don’t want to be in that place again, Wave. It was so hard not being able to….”

 

Nicole pauses and bites her lip, not quite sure how to round the thought off, but she doesn’t need to because Waverly _understands_. And here, now, seeing the toll it has on Nicole, too, Waverly doesn’t ever want to repeat the last few weeks of emotional separation.

 

“Promise me we'll just talk next time? If we ever have a problem in the future?” Nicole asks, and her voice is so soft that Waverly almost wants to cry.

 

No one ever sees this side of Nicole, not even Wynonna, and Nicole just about lives with them. This side, the small gentle side, that’s just Waverly’s.

 

Only Waverly’s.

 

“I promise baby,” Waverly says as her throat thickens slightly. “I’ve never done this before, the whole ‘having a partner I can actually depend on’ thing. Sometimes I just get a little lost. If I do, I don’t mean too but….don’t let me get too far away, ok?

 

“Never,” Nicole replies as she leans in and they kiss and Waverly feels it in her toes. “Never, Wave. Not unless you want, ok?”

 

“I want you,” Waverly says clearly. “I just want you. That’s all. Nothing else.”

 

“There isn't anything else in this big wide world I want beyond you, either,” Nicole says sweetly. “How do you do that? Make me feel like I’ve won the lottery every time you smile.”

 

“Guess I’m just irresistible,” Waverly smirks, although Nicole’s words resonate somewhere _much_ deeper than the smile on her lips.

 

“That, my love, you definitely are,” Nicole whispers against Waverly’s lips. “To that effect, I know that door locks, but I’d _really_ like to get you out of those clothes….”

 

“Home?” Waverly asks as her blood heats, and she doesn’t say which home, because it doesn’t matter. They both are.

 

"Yeah, baby," Nicole nods, and the last cloud clears from above their heads as their eyes meet, her body warm against Waverly’s own.

 

“Home.”

 

-

 

**end.**

 

-

**Author's Note:**

> This thing has been my baby since I started writing the Nicole POV piece so I'm super nervous to hear what you all thought, I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Feel free to swing by my [tumblr](http://tigerlo.tumblr.com), there are a few little sneak-peeks into the Waverly part of the POV fic series if you haven't found them already. 
> 
> x


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